During my KonMari session one day it dawned on me that how I felt about myself would become how my daughter felt about herself, regardless of what I said to her about how she was lovable, worthy, and capable. I struggle with feeling afraid of making mistakes, being vulnerable, not being perfect or creating perfect things. These negative feelings are not what I want to pass down to her. I want her to feel loved, confident, and capable of doing anything without fear or self-criticism holding her back. I want her to know and love herself so she can be herself. Which means my commitment must be to love myself, be myself, and share my ideas in order to model how it’s done.
I have returned to going to therapy regularly to work on my self-compassion and I have been doing the self-compassion meditations that I am always sharing in the FaceBook group. I was thinking that meditation was connected to the KonMari Method since asking the Joy or No Joy question is all about tuning into your inner guide. I hadn’t made the direct connection that learning to love yourself was an acknowledged part of the method until I read in Spark Joy, by Marie “KonMari” Kondo that “the greatest change that occurs through tidying is that you will learn to like yourself.” This is happening for me, slowly yet surely, and my hope is that it is happening for you too. It makes all the difference in the world- it makes joy possible.
In her most recent talk in New York, KonMari made the claim her method would lead to world peace, and I wondered what she meant. Now I understand that once we face our belongings we will learn to like ourselves, and from there we will be loving and kind to ourselves and to everyone around us.
It’s been a year since I began my KonMari journey. I read Marie “KonMari” Kondo’s book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up in January. I literally kissed the book when I finished reading it. I had to do this process in my messy home- it was a big commitment and I really wanted it to happen so I decided to start a FaceBook group. The idea for the group was to create a place to share successes and challenges, especially since the book doesn’t specifically address dealing with a family home. I figured there would be a few others on the same journey. A year later and we have over 12,000 members!
The magic started right away. I found out through the Facebook group that KonMari would be visiting San Francisco and thanks to Stacey Walter for sharing the almost impossible to find details of the event I was able to meet KonMari in person. She glows with a sweet softness and joy-sparking presence which made me love the method all the more. Meeting her made me realize that I could complete her method and that I could let go of self-criticism about doing it wrong. If we follow our joy while doing the method we are doing it right and will be successful!