Category: Featured news

Motivation

Find Your Motivation

00Featured news, KonMari Method, Motivation, Self careTags: , , , , , , , , , August 16

MotivationI’ve been staring at a blank page for over a month trying to write about finding your motivation. The irony is that my motivation took a dive after researching how people stay motivated for my Simplicity & Joy Course. What I found really shook me up. It turns out that motivation is really about self care. Now that I’m a mom I don’t feel like I have time for much in the way of self care, and moms need it the most. What I found out, and what I realized, is that to create a joyful life we must care for ourselves first.

My plan for the workshop was to have a list of all the things people can do to stay motivated to complete their home tidying project. My initial list included practical actions such as: create deadlines; use a checklisthelp others; remember why you started; schedule swaps/yard sales or donation pick ups, etc. After completing it, I had the sense that something was missing. There was some key element, some catalyst that was not there. So I decided to dig a little deeper.  I came across a list that, as it’s final entry, had a phrase that struck me: practice extreme self care.

This phrase really made me think.  I started to notice how rarely my cup is full enough to give as much as I do. So I decided to act: instead of writing about motivation, I focused on taking care of myself.

For example, I’m finally going to cash in the gift card for a facial that my husband got for me for Mother’s Day.  Up until now, I’ve felt too busy to use it.  But no more- I’m going to take care of myself, too.

The things we do to take care of ourselves don’t need to be extravagant.  They can be small and simple.  The other day I was preparing food for my daughter’s summer camp lunch. While I carefully sliced the apples and put cinnamon on them I thought: “how lovely it would be to be so well cared for.” So instead of just taking the other half of the apple to work with me unsliced and not cinnamon adorned, I cut it up for myself and added the sprinkles of cinnamon. Such a small gesture of self care felt lovely.

But even these things are not enough.  Self care, at it’s core, is about healing our hearts. And to do this, I’m going to the local Hand in Hand parenting support group.  At this group parents take turns completely listening to each other talk about the joy, hardships and heartaches we are facing.  It is not easy to do – we deeply feel and express our emotions – but it is powerful medicine. I come home to my family more capable of being the mother and wife that I want to be- calmer, kinder, patient and a little more playful. The group meets weekly and if I miss a gathering I really miss it!

So with this in mind, I decided to create a new list.  This list is designed to build the foundation of your motivation.  It will serve not only to get you going, but to sustain you – to keep you motivated to reach your highest potential.

Self Care for Motivation

Sleep – I know it’s hard, especially with young ones, but when you have enough sleep you have energy and can function. Your overall health depends on having enough sleep. Everything in life is better when you feel rested.  Do whatever it takes to get enough rest.

Meditation supports a sense of well-being in many ways. It can help you to let go of negative emotions and positively transform your dysfunctional thinking- making space for a joyful mind!  Find a meditation style that you are comfortable with and meditate daily.

Nature – Take time to get outside and into nature. The fresh air, the green and blue, and the pure beauty of the earth helps put things into perspective.

Connection with others makes life meaningful. The more connected you feel, the happier you are. Meet a friend for tea or make that phone call you’ve been meaning to make. Reach out to your people and feel the love.

Support –  Knowing you are not alone, that you are loved gives you strength to move through the joys and heartaches of life.  Find a support group online or in person. Notice the people who lift your spirits and hang out with them more.

Emotional release heals your heart. So you can heal the world. Find what moves you- a tear jerker movie (Steel Magnolias always gets me), a therapist, a support group. Let the tears flow.

Play helps you lighten up and be in the moment- to let go in the best way possible. There are a million ways to play. Dancing is one of my favorites- I’ve been loving the Michael Franti station on Pandora lately- great positive vibes!

When my husband wants to go mountain biking or mushroom hunting, I do whatever I can to make it happen because I know when he has taken care of himself he is way more awesome to hang out with-he is happier and healthier, and that affects everyone around him. I can see that clearly with him and I feel it for myself, but am still working on letting go of my own blocks around taking time for myself. Note to self: Stop feeling guilty for making time for you. It helps to know that my daughter is watching and learning from my actions.  I’d like for her to see me taking care of myself (and being way more awesome to hang out with, too)- so she’ll know how it’s done.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Behind the ScenesRevised

Behind the Scenes of “Tidy up with KonMari”

00Featured news, KonMari MethodTags: , , , , , , , May 16

Behind the ScenesRevised

When Gina Lambie Kruger announced my Facebook group that she was going to have Marie Kondo film the KonMari process in her home, I knew I had to be there. Luckily, Gina is the friendliest person ever and was happy to have me, especially since she had a lot of work to do behind the scenes! I can’t believe I flew across the country (SFO to NYC) for this.  Before reading her book and doing the KonMari Method in my home, I wouldn’t have considered such an adventure. It’s a good illustration of how much personal transformation is possible thanks to Marie Kondo’s book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.  Leaving my daughter and husband behind was the hardest part. The rest was exciting, educational and fun! I was glad to have a big adventure and lend a helping hand.

 

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Good morning NYC!

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We had lots of work to do in order to prepare for Marie Kondo’s next tidying session with Gina. To keep track of it all we used the Checklist I designed for busy moms.

IMG_5421Of course there was plenty of folding involved. Following Marie Kondo’s advice for getting older children involved by folding their clothing, Gina instructs her son on the folding technique.

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He’s a pro at the KonMari fold!

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Next up: Sock Mountain!

We sorted out the joy and folded the kids socks. Then we had KonMari Consultant, Keiko give us a lesson on sock folding and storing. It’s not about one exact way of folding, it depends on the container you are using for storage. Keiko first tried folding the socks in half, but then decided they needed to be folded in thirds. Like Gina mentions in the show, the folding doesn’t have to be one specific way – it can be “your way also”.


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Here’s a big folding surprise:

Marie Kondo chose to hang Gina’s Jeans up in the closet.  Here is quite literally a KonMari’d closet.

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My only claim to fame on the show was the brief moment you see the shoe racks in the closet: yes I put them together.

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The Queen of Tidy is on the scene. She is perfectly perfect.

IMG_6984That day they filmed the tidying lessons of books and papers. Here are some of the tips straight from Marie Kondo:

  1. When doing the book category yearbooks would be considered sentimental.
  2. Catalogs that you read like a book can be included in the book category.
  3. Cookbooks can be stored in the kitchen while other books are stored in a book shelf.
  4. Books should be stored vertically and by category.
  5. For paper, she suggests keeping only the essential ones – its less about joy and more about need.
  6. One should think of the reasons for why you keep each paper.
  7. It is best if each family member has a separate file for their papers.
  8.  Store actionable papers vertically, so you will be more likely to take action.

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In Brooklyn it is easy to find new, joyful homes for books. Around the corner from Gina’s house is a mini library. We brought her discarded books to it and they were gone almost before we could add them to the collection!

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After a lunch break, which was delicious New York style  ricotta pizza, of course. Then there was more work to be done. A house doesn’t KonMari itself ya know!

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It was a true pleasure to get to know Gina and her family, to help her with the tidying process, to see New York and visit some of my friends. What a gift be so inspired and to create a the possibility to fly across the country to have an adventure of a life time. Of course the mission was to meet Marie Kondo and witness her in action. She is pure kindness and joy. I am grateful to have found her books and to have been touched by the magic of tidying up.

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In the conclusion of the show it’s a wonderful surprise to see all the clear surfaces which were once totally cluttered. I especially loved seeing Gina and her family happily playing music in the corner, connecting joyfully in a place in the house which was once inaccessible due to clutter. It’s all about making space for the people and activities that Spark Joy in your life.

If you are interested in seeing the show, it is available until May 23rd.  You can see it here:  http://www3.nhk.or.jp/nhkworld/en/vod/konmari/20160507.html

 

The Heart of KonMari Magic

00Featured newsTags: , , , , , March 16
During my KonMari session one day it dawned on me that how I felt about myself would become how my daughter felt about herself, regardless of what I said to her about how she was lovable, worthy, and capable. I struggle with feeling afraid of making mistakes, being vulnerable, not being perfect or creating perfect things. These negative feelings are not what I want to pass down to her. I want her to feel loved, confident, and capable of doing anything without fear or self-criticism holding her back. I want her to know and love herself so she can be herself. Which means my commitment must be to love myself, be myself, and share my ideas in order to model how it’s done.
Revised self love
I have returned to going to therapy regularly to work on my self-compassion and I have been doing the self-compassion meditations that I am always sharing in the FaceBook group. I was thinking that meditation was connected to the KonMari Method since asking the Joy or No Joy question is all about tuning into your inner guide. I hadn’t made the direct connection that learning to love yourself was an acknowledged part of the method until I read in Spark Joy, by Marie “KonMari” Kondo that “the greatest change that occurs through tidying is that you will learn to like yourself.” This is happening for me, slowly yet surely, and my hope is that it is happening for you too. It makes all the difference in the world- it makes joy possible.
In her most recent talk in New York, KonMari made the claim her method would lead to world peace, and I wondered what she meant. Now I understand that once we face our belongings we will learn to like ourselves, and from there we will be loving and kind to ourselves and to everyone around us.  

Meeting the Queen of Tidy

00Featured newsTags: , , March 16
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It’s been a year since I began my KonMari journey. I read Marie “KonMari” Kondo’s book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up in January. I literally kissed the book when I finished reading it. I had to do this process in my messy home- it was a big commitment and I really wanted it to happen so I decided to start a FaceBook group. The idea for the group was to create a place to share successes and challenges, especially since the book doesn’t specifically address dealing with a family home. I figured there would be a few others on the same journey. A year later and we have over 12,000 members!

The magic started right away. I found out through the Facebook group that KonMari would be visiting San Francisco and thanks to Stacey Walter for sharing the almost impossible to find details of the event I was able to meet KonMari in person. She glows with a sweet softness and joy-sparking presence which made me love the method all the more. Meeting her made me realize that I could complete her method and that I could let go of self-criticism about doing it wrong. If we follow our joy while doing the method we are doing it right and will be successful!